Resolution-O-Rama
(A drama about being a disciple of Christ)

Director's Notes: Many of us make New Year's resolutions. This one is again over the top :)

Cast:
Dave: A guy who doesn't have a clue
Teri: His wife
Issi: Their daughter

Props:
Couch
Paper
Pajamas

Setting:
The family room

(LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE) (Dave is in the family room.)

Dave: Teri! Teri! Let’s go! Up and at ‘em!

Teri: (Teri comes down in her pajamas) Wha? What’s going on?

Dave: Do you know what today’s date is?

Teri: Wha? I don’t even know who I am. What time is it?

Dave: 6am

Teri: 6am??? Why did you get me up at 6am on New Years d… (sees Dave waving his note)

Teri: Oh no.

Dave: Oh yes! It’s time again for Resolution-o-Rama! Where are you going?

Teri: Back to bed.

Dave: (grabs her and pulls her back to the couch) Oh no, you’re not. You need to help me with my list.

Teri: Why can’t you just go out on New Years and get drunk and sleep until 2 in the afternoon like everyone else?

Dave: haha ha. Good one.

Teri: I’m not joking.

Dave: Sure. Okay, here is my list. Do you want to guess at the theme this year?

Teri: Things you are going to do to guarantee a divorce?

Dave: Another zinger! Good one. No, this year I’m calling it “The year of the Disciple”

Teri: What does that mean?

Dave: It means that I’m gonna do all the things I need to to be a disciple of Christ.

Teri: And this list accomplishes that?

Dave: Bingo.

Teri: Ok. Let’s get this over with. Give me the list.

Dave: (hands her the list) Okay, let’s do this.

Teri: #1: Read the Bible.

Dave: Got it right here! There was a lot here that was no fun but I found this book called Song of Solomon. So here we go…

    Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon; your mouth is lovely. Your temples behind your veil are like the halves of a pomegranate. Your neck is like the tower of David, built with elegance ; on it hang a thousand shields, all of them shields of warriors. Your two…

Teri: Oooookay! That’s enough of that. Let’s go to #2…. Pray to God.

Dave: Right. Close your eyes.

Teri: Me? I thought this was for you?

Dave: Come on! I don’t want you to watch me pray. Okay, here goes.

    Dear Almighty God, maker of heaven and earth and the universe including all planets and places like Pluto that they no longer call a planet. You who are not only great or greater but are the greatest of all time in all universes including this one and any other alternate dimensions or realities that I cannot see but may have heard about on the Sci Fi channel. Make me a disciple. Amen.

Teri: Seriously?

Dave: It’s not the content of the prayer but the prayer itself silly. Next.

Teri: #3: Take care of my body.

Dave: Right. (Does 3 push ups). Next.

Teri: Amazing. #4: Fast for a week.

Dave: (pulls out a snickers bar and takes a bite). Next.

Teri: A Snicker’s fast?

Dave: I’m giving up everything else.

Teri: (sigh) #5: Give to the needy.

Dave: Isabelle! ISABELLE!

Issi: (Comes walking in super tired and puts her hand out. Dave gives her a dollar. She turns around and walks out)

Dave: Done. Next.

Teri: That’s it. (She hands the list back to Dave)

Dave: Great. I’m a disciple of Christ. I’m going back to bed. You comin?

Teri: No! I’m wide awake now. I can’t go back to sleep. What’s wrong with you? You get me up at 6am and make me read this stupid list every year and now you are going back to bed?

Dave: (writes on the list) Here.

Teri: #6: Forgive my wife for being insensitive.

Dave: You are forgiven. Good night. (leaves)

Teri: (dumbfounded watching him leave and looks at audience.) Seriously, I should have listened to my mother.

END

© 2009 Dave Marsh