I'm Number 2!
(A drama about putting Christ first)

Director's Notes: I have no clue why I write so many drama's where one person takes things waaaay too literally and over board. I guess 1) It's funny. 2) Hopefully people will see a little bit of themselves in all that madness. Anyway, this drama really only works if you can project graphics onto a screen. You can find the zip file of graphics HERE. If you can't open it, you will need the free application Winzip HERE.

Cast:
Dave: A family man that takes things too literally.
Wendy: A Mary Kay representative

Props:
An old slide projector (aimed at the audience)
10 graphics (that are shown on a screen behind the actors)

Setting:
A family room

LIGHTS UP CENTER STAGE)

(Dave comes walking in, dragging Beth up to the stage.)

Dave: Now, come on. I’ve just got them developed and I’m dying to show it to you. It’s only going to take a few minutes. I’m so glad you showed up. I knew they’d send somebody. (During this, Beth is stuttering, trying to explain to Dave that she doesn’t know what he’s talking about and that she should be going)

Dave: (plops her down on the chair) Hi, nice to meet ya, I’m Dave Literal.

Beth: Ah, well, Mr. Literal…

Dave: Dave!

Beth: Ah, yes, Dave, well, I don’t think you know…

Dave: Now, come on, Missy, don’t you have a name?

Beth: Well, yes, it’s Beth Macarthur.

Dave: Nice to meet, ya Beth. Now, like I said, I just got these back so I can prove it to you.

Beth: I’m sorry. I have no idea what you are talking about. Prove to me what?

Dave: Why that Jesus is number 1 in my life?

Beth: I’m sorry? Look, Mr Literal (get’s a look from Dave), er, Dave, I’m not sure you understand. I’m here..

Dave: Well, it’s a good thing you’re here. You’ll understand in a minute. Okay, let me load up this marvel of technology and start showing you the slides.

Beth: Uh, (resigns herself) Okay.

Dave: Allrightythen!

(SLIDE 1) Okay, this first slide is of me.

(SLIDE 2) And here’s my wife.

(SLIDE 3) And here’s my kids.

(SLIDE 4) And here’s Smithers, our guinea pig.

Beth: What do those shirts mean? I’m number 2? Who’s number 1?

Dave: Why God of course! I figured by dressing the family up in these shirts, it proves that God is first in our family!

Beth: Ah, okay. Look Dave…

Dave: Let’s look at some more!

(SLIDE 5) Here’s my car!

(SLIDE 6) And here’s my house.

(SLIDE 7) And here’s my money!

Beth: Wait a minute. You put Jesus’ face on your money?

Dave: Yep, I wanted to prove that God is in charge of our finances. Pretty clever huh?

Beth: Pretty illegal if you ask me. Look, Dave, I’ve got to be going…

Dave: Now hold on there. You haven’t seen the shed!

Beth: The shed?

Dave: Yep, look at this.

(SLIDE 8) The shed of suffering! It’s where I bring all of my problems and pressures to God.

(SLIDE 9) Here’s me bringing God my unpaid bills.

(SLIDE 10) And here I am bringing God my son Joe

Beth: You brought your son out to the shed?

Dave: Yeah, but he only stayed in there overnight.

Beth: (stands up) Okay, that’s it! I’m outta here!

Dave: What do you mean?

Beth: I mean that it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that you’re taking this stuff way too literally. You don’t make the changes out here, you make it in here (points to the heart). Here’s where you make God number 1. Even I know that and I’m not even religious!

Dave: Wait a minute. You’re not from the church?

Beth: No, I sell Mary Kay! Now, if you’ll excuse me. (walks off)

Dave: (dumb founded ) Wait a minute. Come back! You haven’t seen the Halloween pictures yet. GUESS WHO THE KIDS DRESS UP LIKE? THEY GIVE THE CANDY AWAY INSTEAD OF ASKING FOR IT!

(LIGHTS OUT FAST)

END

© 1999 Dave Marsh